You Are Not the Desirer. There Is Only Desiring.

In 1999, doctors in France treated a patient who had truly fascinating medical condition. So, he was completely incapable of feeling full. No matter how much he ate, his brain never sent a signal to say enough. He once ate an entire meal meant for 15 people in a single sitting actually. When the doctors asked him how he felt after eating all the food, he didn't feel sick, and he didn't feel satisfied. He looked at the doctors in the eye, and it seems he asked, what is next? What is there to eat more? You see, we hear this story, and like, we think it's a rare, strange disease, and we just move on. But the truth is very different. Every single one of us in this world has the exact same disease. Not in our stomach, but in our minds. Think about it. Why can a human being never say enough? Why can't we say enough money, enough praises or love, or enough success, or enough knowledge, enough possessions and things like that? Mind you, even spiritual people are not happy. Even they are not happy with one thing. They want constantly more and more. You see, once there was a guy, he came to me, and he asked, Aswin, could you suggest me some books to read, and if you have some books, could you lend me? So I gave him this "I Am That" book by Nisargadatta Maharaj. After reading that, he asked, do you have one more book? So I gave him that book, "Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi". That book, after finishing that, he asked, is there one more book? I was like, dude, what are you doing, man? You know, for me, the two books was enough to tighten me left, right, center. But for him, he wanted more and more, because he was trying to hold on to the concept of spirituality and non-duality like an intellectual position. Things don't work out like that. It's like, you know, the more you read about water, you will never know what is swimming actually. It is only when you jump in, you will understand. So, have you ever wondered why all these things happen? You see, a beggar wants one meal, and more and more, a rich man wants another mansion, a king wants another kingdom. Even a scholar wants another book, and things like that. A monk wants another spiritual experience, and blah, blah, blah. So the hunger for wanting more constantly remains in human. So tell me, what exactly are we all hungry for? Is it the body? No. The body asks only for food and water, sleep and shelter, and things like that. Once these are given, it falls silent. Then who keeps asking for more? The ego. The ego is the bottomless vessel. You see, the more you pour the whole world into it, it will still ask, I want more. And what we do, we all call this living. You are like a man trying to fill a basket made of holes. Every achievement leaks away. See this for yourself actually. Every pleasure also evaporates. Every possession becomes ordinary after some time. Then the mind begins its old song again. I want more. I want more. And we obey it without question. Who taught you that happiness is waiting one step ahead? Things don't work like that. Look carefully. You see, when you were a child, you wanted toys, right? You wanted cars, and you wanted Barbie dolls, and things like that. Then you wanted good marks. That was your happiness. Then your happiness became good friendship. Then your happiness went to love. Then your happiness is now on money. Now it is on status. And then it is peace, and then it is enlightenment. Are you seeing how the wanting goes on? Has wanting ever ended? No. Only the costume has changed. The disease remained untouched actually. You see, the desire alone is bondage. Freedom from desire is liberation. Reflect upon this. I'm not saying, you know, wealth is bondage. I'm not saying family is bondage. I'm not saying the world is bondage. I'm saying the desire itself is bondage. A chain made of gold is still a chain. A chain made of iron is still a chain. Now let me explain things clearly. Don't jump into conclusions by saying, you know, wanting to not have desire is also desire. There, on the other day, a narrow-minded person was arguing with me on this. He was saying, Aswin, not wanting to have desire is also desire. I said, you are right, but when did I say you should not have desire? I never said don't have desire. I'm only saying you are not desire. See that for yourself, and be done with this drama. You are the self-aware reality on which the entire drama is happening. I'm not saying give up desire. Once you see who is having desires, what needs to happen will eventually happen. Whether the desire is worldly or spiritual, it binds equally, because you think you are the one desiring. There is only desiring. There is no desirer. See this by turning your mind within. It's a very simple thing. It looks complicated only in the beginning, but it is a very simple thing. You see, a prisoner who dreams of a palace is still dreaming inside a prison, right? Do you understand? You believe another possession will complete you. Who told you that you are incomplete in the first place? How narrow-minded we are? We already believe that we are incomplete. Who can come and save us if we think like that? Nobody can come and save us. Can the sky become larger by collecting more clouds? No. Can the ocean become better by receiving more rivers? No. Can the space become richer because another star is born? No. Then why do you think the self becomes greater through acquisition? It does not. What made you think that if you have more, you'll be happy? If you have more, you'll be unhappy. We have enough history where people have said having more possessions is not good at all. The one who has less is the great one. You see, I'm not saying don't have a comfortable life. Do not confuse living a comfortable and decent life with living a luxurious and unwanted life. Lot of narrow-minded people argue on this with me. You know, they say like, so you mean to say I should starve? So you mean to say I should not have desire for looking after my family and things like that? When did I say all those things? You are confusing a comfortable and decent life with the luxurious and unwanted possessions that you are carrying. I'm not saying go beg on the streets. I'm saying do what is needed and leave the rest. It is such a simple thing. We want to complicate it. Only the ego wants to complicate. Ego wants to say, I have this, I need that, I almost made it, I must become, and things like that. You see, the rich gets transformed by giving, and the poor gets transformed by receiving. And let me tell you something, the more you complicate the truth, that becomes your language of bondage. The self knows no such language. The self simply is. See the absurdity of your life. The moment one desire is fulfilled, another immediately appears. Have you noticed this? You work for years to buy a house. The day after buying it, the mind begins decorating it, then renovating it, then buying another. It never says, please rest, man. It never says that. The ego fears rest. Because in silence, it begins to disappear. Oh my god, you know, this world right now is filled with a lot of unwanted people, you know. (I'm sorry for that music. I forgot why I started this. Okay.) You see, the ego keeps manufacturing desires. The desire is not for objects. The desire is the ego protecting its own existence. Without desire, who are you? Sit quietly for a few moments without wanting anything. Then immediately the mind becomes uncomfortable. It starts searching for a phone, a music or conversation, food, video games, movies, entertainment, work, and things like that. Why? Because wanting gives the ego movement. Movement gives it identity. Without movement, it starts dissolving. That is why stillness frightens people more than failure. Because failure at least allows another desire. Stillness offers nothing. The ego cannot survive there. You see, if you desire liberation, avoid the objects of senses like poison, and cultivate forgiveness, sincerity, kindness, contentment, and take the truth as its nectar. Many misunderstand what I'm saying. They think objects are the problem. No, objects are innocent. The poison is attachment. The poison is believing they will complete you. A flower is not bondage. Your dependence upon a flower is bondage. Money is not bondage. The belief that money will end inner emptiness is bondage. Relationships are not bondage. Oh, you know, a lot of unwanted spiritual people say, you know, oh, marriage is not good. Don't look at women and things like that. That's the most stupidest thing on earth. You know, I sometimes want to take a whip, you know, and smack all of them left, right, center. To say women are illussion is your stupidity. Dude, what has gone into your head? Oh my god! And they say relationships are bondage. Relationships are not bondage. The demand that another person must complete your existence is bondage. Everything becomes a prison the moment you expect it to become your freedom. Are you seeing what I'm saying? This is the truth. See that you are the self-aware reality on which the entire drama of life is happening, and be done with this drama. How long are you going to suffer in this world? How long are you going to be like a child holding on to a few silly, petty desires and struggling? Do what is needed like a king and a queen, and leave the rest. All that you got in your hand is only your effort, not the results. Let what needs to happen happen. Give your effort to the world and leave the rest. I keep saying, you know, live in the world, let not the world live in you. It's such a simple thing. This is, I think in my eyes, this is the highest form of wisdom, you know, to live in the world yet not make the world live in you. Don't allow anxiety, stress, unwanted things to come within you. And don't allow anxiety to spoil your sleep. That's it, man. Have a good sleep. Be happy. It's a very simple thing. Oh my god. Hope you all understand.